24 June 2011

FO: Fatass Friday

Okay, so a bunch of the bloggers that I follow do Finished Object Fridays, meaning they finished something yarn wise and want to show it off. My wrists have been bothering me lately, so I can only crochet for so long. So, instead of presenting you with a picture of yarny goodness (there is something in the works), I shall indulge you with COOKIES.

I originally started off with this recipe I found, but didn't want to do it that way because I'm a spechul snowflake. So, I changed it. Here's my version:

You Got Peanut Butter in my Chocolate! Cookies
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 1 cup white sugar
  • 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons baking soda
  • 2 cups peanut butter chips
 Forget about preheating oven to 350 degrees F. Grease cookie sheets. Ignore those instructions because you have a STONE.
Yell at butter to soften quicker. Forget about it until your husband comes home two hours later and questions your sanity on why there's a stick of butter on the counter.
In a large bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar and white sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well with each addition. Combine the cocoa, flour, and baking soda, gradually stir into the creamed mixture, while it explodes everywhere. Brush flour out of hair and off clothes. Finally, forget to fold in the peanut butter chips. Dump half the bag in the mixer while it's mixing instead. Drop by rounded spoonfuls onto the prepared cookie sheets, using tiny ice cream scooper gadget. Lick beaters. Now remember to preheat the oven to 350F. Drag string around for cat to chase. Cat becomes unimpressed after 45 seconds. Spend the next 9:15 smacking the cat with the piece of string while on a sugar high.
Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, until puffy but still soft. Stuff cookie in your mouth. Remember it needs to cool, while grabbing milk jug and start chugging desperately from. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely. Bring one over to your husband and shove it in his mouth while he's playing Madden.

You don't have to do it exactly like I did. Matter of fact, I don't recommend it. Also, the batter was super thick, reminded me of brownie batter and looked like chocolate ice cream, or according to my husband "that looks straight up like shit." So, to spare you from that image, I have not included any of the "before" pictures, but I will leave you with this plate of delicious cookies. Seriously, delicious. Next time, I'll dump the whole bag in there. 

Husband approved.


  1. I have a lot of agression to get out so I think I'm going to go yell at butter.

  2. Don't forget to angry point at it, too.

  3. I want to make these cookies EXACTLY like you did. Best instructions ever!

  4. Be sure it's a green string that you smack the cat with, if you're going to do it exactly like me. :P

  5. Mmm, these look yummy and I LOVE your instructions!