21 February 2012

Two thumbs down, or how I'm not dead yet, I don't know.

True to the nature of who I am, I am severely accident prone. So, for the severly squeemish, here's your warning. I'll be talking about painful situations, and further down the post, pictures of my most recent accident. But, so the first picture you see isn't something gruesome, here's Scout trying to eat my shoe.

Aw. How cute. Moving along.

All my life, there's never been a month (at the most) that I haven't injured myself. First major accident I can remember, is stitches in my lip. Yes. Thanks to my brother, I have crooked lips. I mean, you don't notice it unless I point it out. But, once upon a time, back when I was 5 or so, Kyle had his "not girlfriend" over, and I had my two best friends over at the same time. I don't even remember how the situation escalated, but it ended up, my brother and his "not girlfriend" being in my playhouse and the three of us chanting around the house going "KYLE AND MORGAN SITTING IN A TREE. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. FIRST COMES... *SCREAM*" At this point, I suppose Kyle had gotten frustrated and he kicked "at" the glass window, which caused his foot to go through it. I tried to back up far enough, but didn't make it. Next thing I remember is SCREAMING and running towards the house. Then I remember Mom sticking a towel full of ice on my lip. Then, being wrapped in a mummy wrap thing, at the hospital so they could stitch up my lip. Bright lights. And more screaming. And that's all I remember. I can't remember how many stitches, what happened afterwards, or anything. I think it's funny, now. Though, now, I should ask my parents and my brother on their perspectives.

Other major injuries include:
- running down a hallway and spraining my ankle (has never been the same.)
- getting a concussion from a canoe
- sewing my finger to a Harry Potter cloak
- multiple scars that I don't even remember getting.
- injuring my back by slipping off a toilet and falling out a window.
- melting my palm with a match, trying to be a magician
I'm sure there's more, but that's what I can remember.

I still don't know how I've never broken a bone *knocks on wood* I'm pretty sure I've broken both my pinky toes, but I've never proven that.

Moving along to my most recent injury. It was Sunday, the 19th. 2pm. I wanted a snack, so I got an apple and my apple corer-slicer thing, and cut my apple. The apple was still stuck in the slicer, so I figured I'd push it out, using my thumbs. Um, I didn't realize how friggin' SHARP this thing was. I dropped it and my thumbs immediately started bleeding. Damnit. I moved to the sink and turned it on to wash off the blood to see if I could figure out the damage. Thumbs won't stop bleeding. Okay. Took two paper towels and wrapped them up and applied pressure. Okay, good. Five minutes later, they're STILL bleeding. Shit. Kitchen looks like a murder scene. Cats are whining. Brian's not home. I start to panic. Paper towels are soaked in blood. I look at my fingers, they look as if I'd been soaking in a tub for an hour; pruney. Then, I debate for five minutes if I should call a friend to take me to the hospital. No, I can do it myself. 15 minutes later, I some how got myself dressed and I'm out the door, thumbs wrapped in fresh paper towels, Scotch tapped shut.
Finally arrive at WBMAC at 2:30. Little confused on what the lady at the desk is asking me. Finally realized she wants MY contact number, not an emergency one. Whoops. Sit down for a couple of minutes, evaluation nurse calls me back and asks what happened. Told him bad hitchhiking accident. Got a chuckle. He takes the paper towels off my thumbs, they start to bleed again. He washed them off with something sterile and I wince. He wraps them back up with sterile gauze, and sits me back out to the waiting room.
TWO HOURS LATER I'm taken back to the urgent care room. My hands hurt, my thumbs are numb, but thank God, they've stopped bleeding. Four people ask me when my last tetanus shot was (2007). They all chuckle at my story, and remove my bandages, and I scrub them with this painful sterile sponge filled with soap torture device looking thing. I finally see my thumbs minus the blood. The left thumb has a flap like Beaker (from the Muppets) mouth. (Meep meep meep.) While the slit on top is small looking, it goes pretty deep. Glued. The right thumb is just all cut up and missing chunks of skin. Not so pretty. All I can do for that one, is just keep a tight band aid for it. I leave the hospital, 5:30.  Get home, after picking up some dinner, 6. How EXCITING.

Yesterday, I accidentally ripped off the bandaid and a thumb started bleeding. Today, I woke up with the other thumb bloody. I just can't win for losing. So, for your viewing pleasure, my thumbs, as of today.

Left thumb, aka Beaker. Can't really see how far it goes down.

Right thumb. Missing chunks. Started bleeding again after photo was taken.

I suppose I still need parental supervision.

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